I’m Experiencing Strength in Weakness

I went to Fitwall today. I haven't been in awhile and I am not as strong as I was the last time I was there. I couldn't lift the kind of weight I lifted the last time, I am significantly weaker, by A LOT! And guess what friends, I am just fine with that. I can see how what I have been focused on in the last three months has contributed to that weakness because; I have gotten stronger in other areas.  

First:

I have spent time working my deep stabilizing system. I can feel my core much more balanced and able to integrate movement in a way that supports the weight I am lifting. So now my core is stronger. 

Secondly: 

Most of the time I've spent moving lately has been very slow or total flow. This time slowing down and flowing gave me the opportunity to feel what is happening to my body when it moves. Specifically some of my abdominal muscles want to grip and do all of the work and my left shoulder complex feels completely different than my right. Now my inner observer is stronger. 

Lastly: 

My body composition changed. I weigh exactly the same but there is a distinct difference in fat to muscle ratio. Meaning I have more fat and less muscle right now. My ability to experience change without judgment has strengthened. 

I am not going to make up a story about how "I am a bad person becasuse my bicep curls are lame" (I don't actually do bicep curls). I won't waste one second feeling like a failure since I haven't kept up my routine.

I am following my inner compass. The one that guides me to be present. 

If you are focused on being perfect over being present two things will happen to your fitness: you will be chasing an idea of fitness that is inauthentic AND you will fail. There is no perfection. Be strong where you are strong now. Be weak where you are weak now. Be you NOW.